Tragic Stories
• by Tate
1. Once upon a time there was a man named Geoffrey Smithers. Geoffrey enjoyed dumpster diving and was quite good at it. One day while jumping, Geoffrey missed a dumpster and landed on the pavement from twelve stories up. He received severe internal injuries and faces a long recovery.
2. Whales are typically quite large creatures. However, once a whale was born with an interesting condition that prevented him from growing. He remained under ten feet long until he was captured by the Japanese navy, who dissected him for study.
3. A man who worked very long, arduous hours for much of the year was granted a vacation by his boss. Upon his return, his doctor informed him that he had contracted a rare infection while on vacation and had a week to live. The man attempted to vent his anger by attacking his boss with a blunt axe, but he accidentally dropped the axe on his foot, resulting in him contracting yet another rare and fatal infection.
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