this is wonderful

Bob Dylan eating a cheeseburger (your argument is invalid)

Kogen is back, ladies and gentlemen! 

Tragic stories

Tragic Stories

• by Tate

1. Once upon a time there was a man named Geoffrey Smithers. Geoffrey enjoyed dumpster diving and was quite good at it. One day while jumping, Geoffrey missed a dumpster and landed on the pavement from twelve stories up. He received severe internal injuries and faces a long recovery.

2. Whales are typically quite large creatures. However, once a whale was born with an interesting condition that prevented him from growing. He remained under ten feet long until he was captured by the Japanese navy, who dissected him for study.

3. A man who worked very long, arduous hours for much of the year was granted a vacation by his boss. Upon his return, his doctor informed him that he had contracted a rare infection while on vacation and had a week to live. The man attempted to vent his anger by attacking his boss with a blunt axe, but he accidentally dropped the axe on his foot, resulting in him contracting yet another rare and fatal infection.

Fabaceous kumquat

Have you ever played that game where you try to get the fewest results using two words in a Google Search?

Well I have just beat you all.

1,860 results???? Beat that.

~ Tate

(TO THE STAFF: I'm expecting the title of this post to become a popular label on this blog in the future.)

UPDATE: I have beat myself. No one can ever top this. Ever. (I know Google doesn't recognize "quadragintesimal"; rest assured it is a word. 

ANOTHER UPDATE: OK well actually the person sitting next to me just beat me: 

BUT I FOUGHT BACK AND STRUCK A VITAL BLOW:

Admit it. You cannot win. 

~ Tate

EDIT BY ETHAN----

I TIED YOU TATE!!! AND WITH BETTER WORDS! I WIN:

Siete de Mayo

a personal account by Ryan

(Note: This is a Joke. I didn't really get drunk in a small Mexican Village)
___________________________________

Hey Guys,

           I would have told you about that party in that tiny town in Mexico earlier but i was drunk.
Well it was uhhhh..... fun. I think.... i can't really remember....... Hell, I can't even remember getting there.... Did I go there?  I must have because I remember waking up at a bus stop in San Juan..... Or was it Austin.... Or St. Paul.............. Well it was a big city anyway....... But at the party everyone was smoking these cigaretes and........ They were nuts! It was Better than Octember Feast and let me tell you..... THAT was a party!........... Wait a sec it was Septober Feast my mistak......... but it was fun and... if ane of yu want to go next year im up for it....... cause this years trip was a little fuzzy......

Ryan

I was such a groovy kid back in the day...

"I used to listen to the Beatles on my walkman back in the bushes of 'Nam. I was drafted by the president at the time, George Bush. Damn communists."

~ Kogen

TATE SAYS: Well now I'd like to formally introduce new TTRS writer Kogen, who was mentioned in this post, which he helped write. Kogen's a pretty groovy dude who rather likes Bob Dylan songs, yes, rah. The following is from his official autobiography: 

Huge fan of Bob Dylan and similar musical artists. He says he actually preferred the Beatles "back in the day", in fact, he may actually still prefer the Beatles. Rest assured he is sometimes allowed out of his dungeon here in TTRS towers to listen to a little '60s music. 

Amazing Holocaust Survivor Tells Her Story

        I was recently watching Holocaust Survivor Stories and saw the following video of a women named Charlene Schiff telling a story of trying to smuggle food as a Jewish child during the holocaust. It's amazing, check it out!

Click Me

Oh and here's a transcript:

       There was one time when I snuck out of the ghetto and I, uh, was lucky to obtain two eggs, and I remember I was wearing a dress with little puffed sleeves, and I put an egg in each sleeve and tried to make my way back into the ghetto. I paid for these two eggs with a small gold ring that had a ruby in it that my mother sewed into my coat. I was quite proud of myself, and I just could picture my mother's and my sister's faces when they came home and we had two eggs to eat. Just before I was entering the hole, the camouflaged hole back into the ghetto, a Ukrainian guard spotted me, and, uh, he ran over and he started screaming at me, and he found the two eggs and he threw them on the sidewalk and made me kneel down and rubbed my face in them, and screamed at me to get right back where I belong and never to show my face again on the outside. I was petrified, and I didn't give away the hiding place, the hiding entrance, I marched back into the ghetto, or he threw me back into the ghetto and that was the end of that. I guess he was one of the kind ones because he could have killed me, or he should have killed me. When I told my par...my parents...my mother and my sister that evening about my experience, she just hugged me.



posted by: Ethan